Mamasan Trilogy

The "mini-opera" Eddie shared with Stone, Jeff and Mike for his audition into what would become Pearl Jam.

Hi Son,

When Jeff, Mike and Stone were searching for a lead singer (and also a drummer) to replace the late Andy Wood, they were introduced to Eddie through Jack Irons. Stone sent Eddie a cassette tape with five instrumentals that Eddie would write and record lyrics to three of the songs on the tape. The songs that he worked on were all related as a “mini-opera.” The name of the trilogy was dubbed by Eddie as the “Mamasan.” Here are the three songs that made up the story.

• Alive - Track 3 on Ten

• Once - Track 1 on Ten

• Footsteps - Originally the B-side on the “Jeremy” single

The story of “Mamasan” is of a boy who grows up traumatized and eventually becomes a serial killer. That boy, who is now a man, is apprehended and kept in prison waiting death row. There’s some relation of the beginning of the story to Eddie’s life. He did not grow up with his biological father. It was something he wasn’t aware of until he was in his late teens.

Son, she said, have I got a little story for you
What you thought was your daddy was nothin' but a...
While you were sittin' home alone at age thirteen
Your real daddy was dyin', sorry you didn't see him,
but I'm glad we talked...

Where this now comes into the “Mamasan” trilogy and diverges from Eddie’s reality is that the teenager in the story starts to remind his mother of her late husband. A husband who she came to find that she missed dearly.

Oh, she walks slowly, across a young man's room
She said I'm ready...for you

Her readiness is that she wants to make love to him. However, when she tries to do so she notices how uncomfortable her son is. Despite this, she tries to explain that she sees her husband in him trying to convince him it’s okay.

Is something wrong, she said
Well of course there is
You're still alive, she said

The trauma from those events greatly affected the son. It eats at him.

I admit it...what's to say...yeah...
I'll relive it...without pain...mmm...

The grief turns into anger and explodes. His ability to cope with his pain is completely lost. Rather than try to lessen his own despair, he decides to take out his wrath on others. It completely spirals.

I got a bomb in my temple that is gonna explode
I got a sixteen gauge buried under my clothes, I play...
Once upon a time I could control myself
Ooh, once upon a time I could lose myself, yeah...

There’s no going back. The torture of losing what was his innocence so early in his life has taken him to the point of no return.

Once, upon a time I could love myself, yeah...
Once upon a time I could love you, yeah, yeah, yeah...

Eventually he is caught and put on death row. From what I can tell, he still has his mother if he wants her. However, he wants no part of her. Don’t even bother trying. Moreover, he blames her for his actions.

Don't even think about reaching me. I won't be home.
Don't even think about stopping by. Don't think of me at all.
I did what I had to do. If there was a reason, it was you.

Now he’s stuck in his solitude. His thoughts are racing through his head. The harm that he has inflicted upon himself is noticed. Ever since that day when his mother tried to be intimate with him, he has been hating himself.

Voices in me head...ooh, voices
I got scratches, all over my arms
One for each day, since I fell apart

The haunting sound and image of his mother coming to him consumes his mind. This is how his life is going to end. A completely tortured soul. Absolutely tragic.

Footsteps in the hall, it was you, you...oh...
Pictures on my chest, it was you, you...oh...

It’s interesting to me that these three songs were essentially broken away from this sequence. Once and Alive were both on Ten, but not in the same sequence as “Mamasan.” Hell, Footsteps was left off altogether and was only accessible as a B-side for a short-lived “Jeremy” single that would not be re-pressed until a few years ago.

I really don’t know if there is anymore overlap between Eddie’s life experiences and learning about his biological father dying when he was very young of multiple sclerosis. Maybe it’s possible he went through a period where the pain and anger was festering so badly that he thought about harming others. Having the fact that his formative years were not with his biological father had to have put him into some type of tail spin. I’m just grateful it wasn’t severe enough that we wouldn’t have gotten to hear his music both as part of Pearl Jam and in his solo career.

Edward Louis Severson Jr. Eddie’s biological father.

Love,

Dad